We had a scheduled c-section for June 16th of that year, but these two had their own plans (pretty typical). On June 15th I had gone to visit my mom, so she could paint my toe nails. I had a list of things I wanted to get done before the hubs got home, so I headed home. We were going to have one last date night, before we were officially parents.
When I got home I had to pee (tmi, I know) so badly. I stood up and my water broke. All over my bathroom floor.
That evening we held our miracle babies. Both weighing in at a little over 5 pounds. It was a sweet- sweet day.
I struggled to breastfeed. I wanted to exclusively breastfeed. We rented a hospital grade pump, to help incourage the flow. I would put the twins in the nursing pillow, give them a suppliment bottle, and then pump. They ate every three hours and this routine was literally sucking the life out of me. I would be lucky to pumo an ounce, maybe two. After four months of this, my husband encouraged me to stop nursing. It wasn’t easy, but I had to come to terms with the fact that this didn’t make me less of a mom or a woman.
Around Christmas I started to feel differnt. Tired, cravings, hormonal stuff. In the back of my mind, I knew that I possibly was pregnant. After I worked up the courage to face it and take the test, I was so overwhelmed I could only cry.
This baby growing inside me was a blessing and a gift, but I had 6 month old twins! How was I going to handle three of them!? I was already out numbered and my husband was in retail (those hours really stink for family life), how was I going to do this with two hands?
14 months after having the twins, we welcomed a beautiful baby girl via v-back! She was ( and still is) the snuggliest baby. She loved being held. She was lazy and didn’t want to work at nursing. We worked with the nursing specialist while in the hospital and we just couldn’t get her to latch on or even keep her interested. Again, my husband put his foot down and went out to buy formula.
***Mom’s! Yes, nursing is best for your baby. If you cannot produce milk or you are completely overwhlmed with life, it is ok. You are a good mom. We are all perfectly flawed, we answere only to our Creator – The One who knitted life in your womb.***
In my next post, I am going to be transparent and share my story through postpartum depression.